sansinukob ni lupisan

Nund nabuset ako nung isang beses sa mga estudyante ng 3^rd year high e ito dapat ang sinabi ko:

Looking at you makes me want to be intelligent enough to invent a time machine so I can go back in time to meet your mammas so I can fuck them instead of your dads fucking them. That way I’ll be your dad and I’ll have the right to whack some sense into your thick skulls and discipline you like my lapdogs. But then again if I fucked your mammas, you wouldn’t be the ones here. You wouldn’t have come into existence because my genes will mix with your mammas’ genes and you won’t come out. I’ll be stuck with your mammas who are likely as much pains in the ass as you. Which makes the whole time machine invention a useless thing to do.

Pero dahil limitado rin naman ang bokubolaryo ng mga hayup e baka hindi rin naintindihan dahil maraming syllables yung ibang salita, at lampas sa anim na salita ang bawat pangungusap. Kaya’t ang sinabi ko na lang e “I’ll dismiss you five minutes earlier today.”

Unti-unti na kong nang-o-Austin sa eskwelahan. Kung puro kupal mga estudyante mong high school, at ayos lang sa yong masisante, papaka-Austin ka na rin. Namimiss ko tuloy ang Media Arts na kahit makulet e marunong rumesperto.

Meron akong tinuturuan ng Art sa third year high. Merong makukulit na ayaw tumahimik. Isinulat ko sa whitebpard na uupo lang ako’t susweldo nang hindi nagtuturo e ayos sa akin. Siempre, Inggles. Hindi ko nga lang na-proof read dahil naisulat ko e, "I’ll sit here like, for the rest of the period and I’ll still get my pay." Sabay upo sa ilalim ng sinulat kong karatula.

Aba 20 minnutes na kong nakaupo, merong tatlong hindi tumatahimik. Nagkukwentuhan pa rin. E nakapahinga na ko nang ganap. Nilapitan ko. Binigyan ko ng tig-iisang papel, at isang plastic cup ang tatlong lalaking kupal.

"Your choice. You can have the paper and do the exercise or you can have the cup," sabi ko.

E di tingin laang sila sa ‘kin. Di nila alam kung para sa’n yung cup.

"What will we do with the cup?"

"Fill it up with your urine and have it checked if you’re retards," sabi ko.

Tapos, meron pang isang nagho-Hokkien. Oo, iba pa sa Fookien. E mala-SISC ‘to, dapat speak English lagi. Palalampasin ko naman ‘to sa normal na pagkakataon, kaso kupal lang talaga ‘tong isang ‘to. Inisyuhan ko ng violation slip at pinapapirmahan sa kanya ‘to.

"Why?"

"Youi spoke in Hokkien."

"How did you know? Do you speak Hokkien?"

Kung hindi rin nga naman naghahamon ang putang nang ‘to e.

"Hokkien. Fookien. Mandarin. Thai. Bahasa. Vietnamese. Tamil. Whatever. It’s not English. Sign it."

"Why only me?" How about the others?"

"You’re the one I heard."

"Catch them first."

"I will if I hear them. But why would I spend my time, going around to catch them?"

"Why will I spend my time signing that?"

Aba, magaling-galing sumagot ang loko.

"Are you wussing out?"

Blankong ekspresyon. Nalimutan ko limitado nga pala Inggles ng mga ‘to.

"I’ll say this in English, even YOU can understand. Are you chickening out? If you are chickening out, don’t sign it. "

Humaba sa ganun. Hanggang kinuha ko ‘yung violation slip at sinabing, "Then you chickened out. You’re a chicken."

"So?"

"What do you mean so? I just made my point that you chickened out. That’s enough."

"So? What do you want?"

"I said, I made my point that you chickened out. That’s what I’m saying. You still don’t un-der-stand-ah?"

Tumahimik sa buong period ang kupal.